REVITAL TO THE RESCUE
' ' ' Faith is believing something in the absence of evidence, that's why people have faith in religion ' ' '
-- Neil deGrasse Tyson
-- Neil deGrasse Tyson
/* Kabilan returns from the FIFA world cup in Brazil, spending a great vacation there. Few days later, he falls sick and his health doesn't seem to improve so everyone asks him to go see a doctor */
Aparna: Kabi you gotta go, this could be serious.
HE: Yeah bro, Aparna's got a point.
Sid: Dikha k aa jana, it wouldn't take that long anyway.
Kabi (Relaxed): Don't worry guys! I'm going to be fine 😉 *cough* *cough* it's nothing! Pfff!
# 2 days later Kabi himself goes to the doctor 😐
# After all the check ups the doctor walks in
Doctor: Your reports are yet to come, until then I cannot say what happened to you.
Kabi (Agitated): Oh God! Why does this always happen to me? What wrong did I do. . . NO!! I had sex back in Brazil, could that be the reason?!?!
Doctor: Probably, yes. . . Your symptoms seem like you have Gonorrhea.
# Kabi gets all nervous
Doctor: So, where was she from?
Kabi: I don't know
Doctor: Brazilian?
Kabi: I don't knowDoctor: You would at least know her name?
Kabi: Garcia. . . Wait, Gloria? Gloria hi tha na? Kya naam tha??
Doctor: 😑
Kabi (Defensively): What can I say, I was drunk and all I heard from her was 'sex'.
# In the next 10 minutes reports come in
Doctor (Gloats): Yup, you've got Gonorrhea.
Kabi (Anxious): Doc, will I be alright?
Doctor: Did you wear protection?
Kabi: I DID wear protection. . .did I?
Doctor: 😒
Doctor: We can't say anything right now, come back 2 weeks later and make sure you take these medicines on time.
Kabi: Am I gonna die?
Doctor: We can't say anything
Kabi: Oh my God, I am gonna die!
Doctor: As I said, after 2 weeks we. . .
Kabi (Interrupting): I'm gonna die!!!
Doctor: Uh, Just get out!
--- KABILAN'S BEDROOM ---
/* Everyone just learnt about the situation */
Sid: I think you fucked a porn star! 😛
HE: Or may be a prostitute? 😜
Sid: I bet they both came at the same time!
HE: I hope there were just 2 😉
Kabi: Guys this is serious! I'm gonna die!
# someone's phone starts to ring
HE: Yeah, so?
Sid: I didn't like you much anyway.
Kabi: Your phone is ringing.
Sid: No its not.
Kabi: Tera baj raha hai.
HE: Nahi toh
Kabi: Phir kis ka baj raha hai
Sid: Tera baj raha hai!!!
/* Kabi wakes up from the dream all sweaty and anxious, and picks up the call */
Caller: Congratulations sir, you're our lucky customer. Would you like a loan of. . .
# Kabi hangs up
# He looks at the clock it's 4:15 PM
Kabi (To himself): It was just a dream.
# Kabi re-adjusts himself into a sitting position
Kabi: What is happening to me? Why am I getting these dreadful dreams lately?!
# Kabi contemplates for a while and suddenly finds his phone and makes a call
Kabi: Yeah, hello, Shraddha?
/* Shraddha is slouching on her couch having Cheetos watching TV in her living room */
Shraddha (Nonchalant): Yeah
Kabi: What are those pills you take Panax ginseng Ferrous Fumarate-. . .
Shraddha (Cutting him off): Revital
Kabi: Oh, Revital ahh!
Kabi: Why do you take them?
Shraddha (Readjusting herself): To stay healthy and energetic, it keeps me active.
Kabi: Hmm. . . Do you think I should get one?
Shraddha: I think you should get one.
Kabi: I'm gonna get one.
Shraddha: Alright.
Kabi: Alright.
Kabi: Alright.
Shraddha: Stay fit.
/* Shraddha keeps the phone and notices her Cheetos are finished. She throws the packet aside and takes out a new packet of cheese balls */
--- LATE NIGHT ---
/* Kabi gets a bottle of Revital and plans to go to bed by 11:30 PM */
#Kabi's in bed all ready to go to sleep
Kabi (Thinking to himself): All right, all set, 2 pills taken. I'll wake up at 7 tomorrow, fresh and ready. Yes, I'm finally making a change.
Kabi: 1 minute, have I set the alarm? C'mon I don't need an alarm. . . I believe in myself.
--- CUT TO NEXT DAY ---
/* Someone is knocking the door for the last 10 minutes and because of persistent knocking Kabi wakes up and gets the door */
# Kabi opens the door
Stranger: Aap ne complaint diya tha, kitchen sink block hone ka. Wo thik karne aya mai
Kabi (Still getting out of sleep): Haan, wo.. arey, wo toh parso hi thik ho gaya. Aap hi ka koi banda thik karke gaya.
Stranger: Mujhe pata nahi mai aaj hi gaon se wapas aya.
Kabi: Nahi nahi bhaiya wo thik ho gaya
Stranger: Thik hai
# Kabi closes the door, turns around and looks at the wall clock. It's 11:15 AM, he gets irritated and looks at the Revital bottle.
# Goes to the kitchen and takes 4 pills immediately.
--- IN THE EVENING ---
# HIM and Anudeep are coming back from work. Anudeep asks HIM
Anudeep: Khane ka kya karna hai?
HE: Pata nahi yaar, kuch banate hain
/* As they open the door, both of them are awestruck. Everything around is spick and span and Kabi is inside the kitchen cooking something */
Kabi (Excited): Hey guys!! What took you so long??
Anudeep (Drops his bag): What the hell happened around her?!!
HE (Astonished): Who did all this?!!
Anudeep: And whatever that is, it smells delicious!
Kabi: Ha ha, thanks.
HE: What has got into you?
Kabi: Nothing bro, why I can't be hygienic or what?
HE: NO!!!!
Kabi: 😏
HE: What has got into you? The table's clean, the floor's clean, the KITCHEN is clean!
# Anudeep walks out from the toilet
Anudeep: AND the toilet is clean!
HE: The toilet's clean 😲!?
# HE looks at Kabi
HE (dead serious): Kabi, when the fuck did you start taking drugs??
# Kabilan dancing while cooking
Kabi: No bro it's revital
Anudeep: Revital doesn't do shit
Kabi (Yells enthusiastically): I know 😀!!
# Kabilan starts dancing again
# Anudeep seems confused, he picks up the Revital bottle and reads it
Kabi (Amused): We guys should do something tonight? Let's go down and play basketball!? 😀
# HE's looking for something to eat in the refrigerator
HE: I'm too old for this shit.
Kabi: C'mon, you lazy ass!
Anudeep: How many pills did you take since last night?
# Kabi looks at Anudeep
Kabi: 6 😀
Anudeep (Pointing at the bottle): It says 2 a day right here!!
Kabi: We all should go running! That's right, we all should go running!
Anudeep: 😓
HE: Do we have gulab jamun for dessert? I smell gulab jamun.
Kabi: Yes. We. Do. I think I should call up Shraddha and thank her for the wonderful advice.
Anudeep: Ohh, toh Shraddha ne bola Revital le?
Kabi: Haan.
Anudeep: 😐
# Kabi calls up, Shraddha.
# At 7:30 in the evening, Shraddha is sleeping. She somehow answers the call with her eyes closed.
Kabi (enthused): Thanks a lot Shraddha! You have change my life completely!
Shraddha (Drowsy): Anytime.
Kabi: You have a good life! Bu-bye!
HE: That was Shraddha?
Kabi: Yes, indeed! 😃
HE: What is she doing?
Kabi: I don't know, probably something active.
# Kabi starts dancing as he says this
--- SHRADDHA'S ROOM ---
/* SHE walks into Shraddha's room, switches on the lights and goes to wake her up */
SHE: Kya soyi padi hai, 8 baj rahe hain! Uth ab!
# SHE pulls her
Shraddha: Sone de na!
SHE: Arey! Uth ab, chal!
# Shraddha doesn't move
SHE: Chal na merko bahut bhook lag rahi hai!
# Shraddha still doesn't move
# SHE holds a photo frame of Hector Bellerin and says
SHE: Dekh mai tere liye Ozil ka photo frame layi
# Shraddha gets excited and looks at it
Shraddha: 😑, Bellerin hai yeh!
SHE (Confused): Ozil nahi hai?!
Shraddha: Nahi
SHE: Kitne similar hain dono!
Shraddha: Mila kahan se terko yeh?
SHE: Arey, the guy who sits next to me was leaving office so he wanted to offload a few things. I even asked him, "you really don't want this?" and he said he has a replica at home.
SHE: Chal ab jaldi se taiyar ho ja, bahut bhook lag rahi hai merko!
Shraddha: But you had plans to go out with HIM no tonight?
SHE: Haan, par usko kuch kaam hai. HE said HE has to work on some data report tonight. HE's actually been very busy last few weeks.
/* Shraddha keeps the phone and notices her Cheetos are finished. She throws the packet aside and takes out a new packet of cheese balls */
--- LATE NIGHT ---
/* Kabi gets a bottle of Revital and plans to go to bed by 11:30 PM */
#Kabi's in bed all ready to go to sleep
Kabi (Thinking to himself): All right, all set, 2 pills taken. I'll wake up at 7 tomorrow, fresh and ready. Yes, I'm finally making a change.
Kabi: 1 minute, have I set the alarm? C'mon I don't need an alarm. . . I believe in myself.
--- CUT TO NEXT DAY ---
/* Someone is knocking the door for the last 10 minutes and because of persistent knocking Kabi wakes up and gets the door */
# Kabi opens the door
Stranger: Aap ne complaint diya tha, kitchen sink block hone ka. Wo thik karne aya mai
Kabi (Still getting out of sleep): Haan, wo.. arey, wo toh parso hi thik ho gaya. Aap hi ka koi banda thik karke gaya.
Stranger: Mujhe pata nahi mai aaj hi gaon se wapas aya.
Kabi: Nahi nahi bhaiya wo thik ho gaya
Stranger: Thik hai
# Kabi closes the door, turns around and looks at the wall clock. It's 11:15 AM, he gets irritated and looks at the Revital bottle.
# Goes to the kitchen and takes 4 pills immediately.
--- IN THE EVENING ---
# HIM and Anudeep are coming back from work. Anudeep asks HIM
Anudeep: Khane ka kya karna hai?
HE: Pata nahi yaar, kuch banate hain
/* As they open the door, both of them are awestruck. Everything around is spick and span and Kabi is inside the kitchen cooking something */
Kabi (Excited): Hey guys!! What took you so long??
Anudeep (Drops his bag): What the hell happened around her?!!
HE (Astonished): Who did all this?!!
Anudeep: And whatever that is, it smells delicious!
Kabi: Ha ha, thanks.
HE: What has got into you?
Kabi: Nothing bro, why I can't be hygienic or what?
HE: NO!!!!
Kabi: 😏
HE: What has got into you? The table's clean, the floor's clean, the KITCHEN is clean!
# Anudeep walks out from the toilet
Anudeep: AND the toilet is clean!
HE: The toilet's clean 😲!?
# HE looks at Kabi
HE (dead serious): Kabi, when the fuck did you start taking drugs??
# Kabilan dancing while cooking
Kabi: No bro it's revital
Anudeep: Revital doesn't do shit
Kabi (Yells enthusiastically): I know 😀!!
# Kabilan starts dancing again
# Anudeep seems confused, he picks up the Revital bottle and reads it
Kabi (Amused): We guys should do something tonight? Let's go down and play basketball!? 😀
# HE's looking for something to eat in the refrigerator
HE: I'm too old for this shit.
Kabi: C'mon, you lazy ass!
Anudeep: How many pills did you take since last night?
# Kabi looks at Anudeep
Kabi: 6 😀
Anudeep (Pointing at the bottle): It says 2 a day right here!!
Kabi: We all should go running! That's right, we all should go running!
Anudeep: 😓
HE: Do we have gulab jamun for dessert? I smell gulab jamun.
Kabi: Yes. We. Do. I think I should call up Shraddha and thank her for the wonderful advice.
Anudeep: Ohh, toh Shraddha ne bola Revital le?
Kabi: Haan.
Anudeep: 😐
# Kabi calls up, Shraddha.
# At 7:30 in the evening, Shraddha is sleeping. She somehow answers the call with her eyes closed.
Kabi (enthused): Thanks a lot Shraddha! You have change my life completely!
Shraddha (Drowsy): Anytime.
Kabi: You have a good life! Bu-bye!
HE: That was Shraddha?
Kabi: Yes, indeed! 😃
HE: What is she doing?
Kabi: I don't know, probably something active.
# Kabi starts dancing as he says this
--- SHRADDHA'S ROOM ---
/* SHE walks into Shraddha's room, switches on the lights and goes to wake her up */
SHE: Kya soyi padi hai, 8 baj rahe hain! Uth ab!
# SHE pulls her
Shraddha: Sone de na!
SHE: Arey! Uth ab, chal!
# Shraddha doesn't move
SHE: Chal na merko bahut bhook lag rahi hai!
# Shraddha still doesn't move
# SHE holds a photo frame of Hector Bellerin and says
SHE: Dekh mai tere liye Ozil ka photo frame layi
# Shraddha gets excited and looks at it
Shraddha: 😑, Bellerin hai yeh!
SHE (Confused): Ozil nahi hai?!
Shraddha: Nahi
SHE: Kitne similar hain dono!
Shraddha: Mila kahan se terko yeh?
SHE: Arey, the guy who sits next to me was leaving office so he wanted to offload a few things. I even asked him, "you really don't want this?" and he said he has a replica at home.
SHE: Chal ab jaldi se taiyar ho ja, bahut bhook lag rahi hai merko!
Shraddha: But you had plans to go out with HIM no tonight?
SHE: Haan, par usko kuch kaam hai. HE said HE has to work on some data report tonight. HE's actually been very busy last few weeks.
Shraddha: Achaa?..
--- HIS HOUSE ---
/* The 3 are dancing and going berserk to "I got nothing left to lose, or use, or do, my bad habits lead to wide eyes starin' at space..."
--- HIS HOUSE ---
/* The 3 are dancing and going berserk to "I got nothing left to lose, or use, or do, my bad habits lead to wide eyes starin' at space..."
-- X --
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