GIVING IT BACK

' ' ' The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false. ' ' '       

-- Anonymous

/* Anudeep is sitting at the table playing with the table salt bottle. Kabi comes out of his room looking for something */

Kabi (looking around): Bro, have you seen my iPad?

Anudeep: Tere pas iPad bhi hai?

Kabi: Arey yaar! 😤

# Kabi finds it squeezed under the couch

Kabi: Mil gaya! 😊

# Kabi sits on the couch and starts doodling on his iPad

# HE comes out into the living room all dressed up only to gather a few belongings

Anudeep (Playing with the table salt): Did you guys know that sodium is a poisonous reactive metal that you can cut with a butter knife while pure chlorine is a deadly gas but when added together they make sodium chloride aka table salt, fascinating right?!

Kabi (Nods): Hmmm

# Ignores Anudeep and asks HIM

Kabi: So, when is your flight?

HE: In about 2 hours.

Kabi: Sunday ko kaunsi meeting hoti hai?

HE: It's not on Sunday dude it's Monday.

# HIS phone starts to ring, HE picks up

HE: Haan

SHE: When are you leaving?

HE: Bas nikal raha hun abhi

SHE: Okay, I am getting into a meeting now I won't be able to talk to you.

HE: Okay

SHE: Bye, have a safe flight!

HE: Haan, bye.

# HE hangs up and calls the Uber driver, HE's gathering HIS stuff while on call

HE: Haan bhaiya, kahan pe ho aap?

Driver: Bhaiya tyre puncture ho gaya hai. Mai nahi aa sakta, apko dusra gaadi book karna padega.

HE (Disappointed): Arey yaar!!. . . Acha thik hai.

# HE hangs up

HE (Exclaims): Why don't things for once just go the way I want them to go!

Anudeep: 'Coz if they did there'd be no surprises.

Kabi: And what is life without surprises.

# HE sits on the couch and books another Uber

# 15 minutes later HIS Uber arrives

# HE walks out the door

HE: Chalo, milta hun baad me 

Anudeep: Haan thik hai, thik hai.

-- CUT TO EVENING --

/* Aparna and Shraddha are waiting in the car for HER below the office building, SHE comes in and joins them */

Aparna: Arey, itna kaun kaam karta hai Saturday ko?

SHE: Arey, wo audit chal raha hai na yeh hafta, that's why.

SHE: So, where are we going?

Shraddha (Jubilant): Man City vs Arsenal, Baby!!

# SHE looks at Aparna

SHE: Seriously?

Aparna: I had no choice

SHE: Ughhh 😩

/* They arrive, sitting at the table they decide what to order and Shraddha is completely into the match */

SHE: I'll have chicken wings

Aparna: Chicken wings are not that great here.

SHE: Uh, I can't have, it's Saturday. 

Aparna: I think I'll go with onion rings

SHE: Really?

Aparna: Yeah, why? What's wrong?

SHE: No. . . I don't like onion rings

Aparna: Have mash potatoes then or french salad, it's good here.

SHE: Shraddha, tu kya le rahi hai?

SHE: Shrads!

Shraddha (Glued in the match): Onion ring. . . Oni-onion noodles.

SHE: Kya? Onion noodles?

SHE: I am asking you what will you have?

# Shrads doesn't respond

# SHE stops trying

# They place the order

Aparna: I haven't slept for the past 2 days, I badly need some rest.

SHE: Same here, yaar. This audit thing is getting on my nerve now, just waiting for it to finish.

SHE: What were you doing today?
Shraddha (Yells): What the fuck? Pass Ramsey, pass!

Aparna: Had to take the car for servicing, toh pura din udhar hi nikal gaya.

# SHE acknowledges

# It's Half Time 

Shraddha (😓): They're playing like shit! 

Shraddha: Where's my beer? I told you no, 1 Tuborg.

Aparna: You didn't say shit. Waiter aa raha hai abhi, tell him what you want.

# The food arrives and they get down to eating

# Man City scores the winner in the 88'

Shraddha: Fuck!! 😤😓

# Shraddha drops her fork

Shraddha (Disgruntled): Sanchez can't save us every time! 

/* It's Full Time Man City 2-1 Arsenal. They finish their dinner and head out the restaurant and on their way out they hear someone talking shit, Shraddha stops */

Stranger Arsenal Fan: Man, Ozil is shit! We need to sell him!!

# Shraddha tells Aparna

Shraddha: One minute

# Shrads walks upto their table

Shraddha: Ozil sucks, right?

Arsenal Fan: Yeah man! He goes missing in big matches. . . 

Shraddha: You know we haven't beaten Chelsea in the league since 2011.

Arsenal Fan: Exactly!

Shraddha: 😑, Arsenal beat Chelsea back in September and Ozil scored in the 3-0 drubbing. He helped us qualify in the Champions League to knockout stage with a 3-2 victory against Ludogorets When we were 2-0 down. Frankly, a goal that can win him the FIFA Puskas award. Ozil notched up 20 assists in all competitions last season, making him one of Europe's most efficient midfielders. Ozil created a record breaking 12 chances in a single match against Sunderland. Real Madrid struggled for almost 3 months when he departed because they had no one who could assist Ronaldo.

# Silence ensues

# HER and Aparna look at each other in disbelief

Arsenal Fan: Sorry. . . I guess?

Shraddha: Next time when you speak about Ozil, think.

Aparna: Chal

# SHE pulls Shraddha and they get out of the restaurant

-- IN THE CAR --

Aparna: Itna kyun suna diya tune us bichare ko?

Shraddha (Looking out the window): He was talking shit.

SHE: I think you like that Ozil guy because he's cute.

Shraddha: I like his game, okay!

Aparna (Slyly): Yeah, I am sure he's got a gooood game.

# Shrads looks at Aparna in disgust

Shraddha: Kaise gaandi baatein karti hai tu! 😑

Aparna: 😫

-- X --