FIFA QUEEN
' ' ' Sometimes you just gotta make a decision and not worry whether it's wrong or right ' ' ' -- Anonymous
/* Anudeep is walking out of the office and he suddenly runs into Janet, his crush in college */
Anudeep (surprised): Heyyy!! Janet! How are you??
Janet: I'm good I'm good! How are you?
Anudeep: I'm good! What are you doing here? It's been so long! Where have you been?
Janet: My roommate works here, we planned to go to dinner, so just came to pick her up.
Anudeep (excited): Oh that's nice.
Janet: Yeah
Anudeep: So, where have you been all this while??
Janet: I'm working at Cognizant now. I moved here a few months ago.
Anudeep: Nice. Nice.
Janet: Hey, you remember Manisha??
Anudeep (Thinking): Mannisshhha??
Anudeep: Your chaddi buddi right?
Janet: Not my chaddi buddi, just my friend!
Anudeep: But both of you used to roam around college in your scooty pep+, like John Abraham dhoom machale.
Janet: You mean this scooty?
# Anudeep looks at the scooty she's sitting on
Anudeep: Oh yeah right.
Janet: Manisha told me you used to have a crush on me back in college?
Anudeep: I thought. . . You knew about it?
Janet: No. How would I know that?
Anudeep: How could you not know it?
Anudeep: I always walked up to you to start some random conversation just to talk to you. You forgot I used to ask you 'lets go for lunch?' in the canteen and then you'd be like 'arey I can't, Nidhi and Manisha are coming, we're going to Anand Bhavan'.
And even rarely when we had lunch together I would get nervous and say stupid things like 'do you know apples are red and green, which one would you choose?' or 'you know, there's a way to open ketchup sachets' and then I'd show you how.
Janet (realizing): Oh yeah, I remember
Janet: Yeah that was stupid.
Anudeep: See!
Janet (Looking down and wondering): Then how come I did not realize. . .
Janet: I guess I was just dumb back then
Anudeep: You still ARE!
Janet (little livid): Hey! You cant insult me lik. . .
Janet (Realizing): 😒 this is why I didn't like you.
Anudeep (Embarrassed): 😕
# Janet's roommate walks in
Anudeep: Byee
Janet (Angrily): Bye
# And they rolls away on her scooty
# Anudeep turns around and starts walking, he meets Sid on the otherside of the road
Sid: Kitna time leta hai bey tu! Kab se wait kar raha hun mai!
Anudeep: Arey wo Janet mil gayi thi office se nikalte waqt.
Sid: Oouuhh! Love ka chakkar!
Anudeep: Arey kya love ka chakkar! Eak toh itne dino baad mila usko upar se gussa ho k chali gayi. 😡
Sid: Kyun?
Anudeep: Chutiya hun na mai!
Sid: Ab mai kaise mana karu.
# They walk to a vada pao stall
Sid: Chal chod! kaunsa terko milne ayi thi wo.
# Sid points to the vada paos
Sid: Vada pao kha, khush rahega.
Anudeep: Arey wo Janet mil gayi thi office se nikalte waqt.
Sid: Oouuhh! Love ka chakkar!
Anudeep: Arey kya love ka chakkar! Eak toh itne dino baad mila usko upar se gussa ho k chali gayi. 😡
Sid: Kyun?
Anudeep: Chutiya hun na mai!
Sid: Ab mai kaise mana karu.
# They walk to a vada pao stall
Sid: Chal chod! kaunsa terko milne ayi thi wo.
# Sid points to the vada paos
Sid: Vada pao kha, khush rahega.
Anudeep: Wahi karna padega lagta hai.
# Anudeep says to the vada pao wala
Anudeep: Bhaiya teen vada pao.
Anudeep: Aur extra hari chatni dena. . . bahut kharab gaya hai aaj ka din.
Sid: Kharab din pe teen vada pao!? 😮 Toh ache din pe kitne khata hai bey?
Anudeep (Rhetorically): Tu bole toh yeh bhi nahi khata!
Sid: Nahi nhi kha kha, aaram se kha. Meri taraf se do aur kha le.
Anudeep: Bhaiya 5 vada pao dena.
-- KABILAN'S LIVING ROOM --
/* Shraddha and Kabi are sitting in his living room playing FIFA on his PS4 */
Kabi: I wanna get closer to you, Shraddha
Shraddha: What?
Kabi: I need to be closer to you
Shraddha: Oh, really?
Kabi: I gotta tell you how I feel
Shraddha: Then tell me
Kabi: That baby you're the only one for me
Shraddha (Starts singing): Tumhe kaise mai bataun kya mai paa gaya hun tum jo mere saath ho
# Kabi joins in
Kabi: Mujhko duniya mil gayi hai zindagi badal gayi hai
Shraddha: Tum jo mere saath ho
Kabi (Yelling): What the fuck! Why is Alli so slow!!
Kabi: Pass it to Kane!. . . bhenchod!!
# Shraddha is into the game and is unfazed by kabi's yelling
Shraddha (speaking to herself): Go on, go on. Yes. Give it to Sanchez.
Kabi: Noo!
# Sanchez passes the ball to Giroud and he scores on the 93rd minute.
Shraddha: Wooo!
Kabi: Come on man! Yeh kya hai!
Kabi: Every fucking time!
# It's Full Time Tottenham 1 - 3 Arsenal
# Kabilan throws the console to the side
Shraddha: Hahaha. Arey you'll win next time.
Kabi: Kya next time! Nikal tu, chal!
Shraddha: Shii, you're such a sore loser!
Kabi: 😠
# Shraddha keeps her console on the table
Shraddha: I've never seen a Tottenham fan in my life.
Kabi: So?
Shraddha: Why do you support Tottenham?
Kabi: I've always supported the underdog and since I started watching football they've always been competing as the underdog.
Shraddha: Well, you can support Crystal Palace in that case.
Kabi (Deep breath): Can we talk about something else?
# Anudeep and Sid enter the apartment.
Anudeep: There's vada pao if anybody wants some.
# Anudeep keeps the vada paos on the counter
Kabi: Fuck! I was starving!
# Kabi walks to the counter to grab some
Anudeep: Hey, Shraddha, this is Sid.
Sid: Hi
Anudeep: Even he's a gunner.
Shraddha: Really?
Sid: Yeah.
# Anudeep says to the vada pao wala
Anudeep: Bhaiya teen vada pao.
Anudeep: Aur extra hari chatni dena. . . bahut kharab gaya hai aaj ka din.
Sid: Kharab din pe teen vada pao!? 😮 Toh ache din pe kitne khata hai bey?
Anudeep (Rhetorically): Tu bole toh yeh bhi nahi khata!
Sid: Nahi nhi kha kha, aaram se kha. Meri taraf se do aur kha le.
Anudeep: Bhaiya 5 vada pao dena.
-- KABILAN'S LIVING ROOM --
/* Shraddha and Kabi are sitting in his living room playing FIFA on his PS4 */
Kabi: I wanna get closer to you, Shraddha
Shraddha: What?
Kabi: I need to be closer to you
Shraddha: Oh, really?
Kabi: I gotta tell you how I feel
Shraddha: Then tell me
Kabi: That baby you're the only one for me
Shraddha (Starts singing): Tumhe kaise mai bataun kya mai paa gaya hun tum jo mere saath ho
# Kabi joins in
Kabi: Mujhko duniya mil gayi hai zindagi badal gayi hai
Shraddha: Tum jo mere saath ho
Kabi (Yelling): What the fuck! Why is Alli so slow!!
Kabi: Pass it to Kane!. . . bhenchod!!
# Shraddha is into the game and is unfazed by kabi's yelling
Shraddha (speaking to herself): Go on, go on. Yes. Give it to Sanchez.
Kabi: Noo!
# Sanchez passes the ball to Giroud and he scores on the 93rd minute.
Shraddha: Wooo!
Kabi: Come on man! Yeh kya hai!
Kabi: Every fucking time!
# It's Full Time Tottenham 1 - 3 Arsenal
# Kabilan throws the console to the side
Shraddha: Hahaha. Arey you'll win next time.
Kabi: Kya next time! Nikal tu, chal!
Shraddha: Shii, you're such a sore loser!
Kabi: 😠
# Shraddha keeps her console on the table
Shraddha: I've never seen a Tottenham fan in my life.
Kabi: So?
Shraddha: Why do you support Tottenham?
Kabi: I've always supported the underdog and since I started watching football they've always been competing as the underdog.
Shraddha: Well, you can support Crystal Palace in that case.
Kabi (Deep breath): Can we talk about something else?
# Anudeep and Sid enter the apartment.
Anudeep: There's vada pao if anybody wants some.
# Anudeep keeps the vada paos on the counter
Kabi: Fuck! I was starving!
# Kabi walks to the counter to grab some
Anudeep: Hey, Shraddha, this is Sid.
Sid: Hi
Anudeep: Even he's a gunner.
Shraddha: Really?
Sid: Yeah.
Shraddha: Right now is really not a fun time to be gunner fan 😁
Sid: Yeah 😁 Bas defence thik karna hai apna.
# Sid goes and sits on the couch to chat with Shraddha.
# Anudeep goes to his room to change into something comfortable.
Kabi: Man! This vada pao is heaven.
Shraddha: Idhar bhi la na, kya akele akele kha raha hai!
Kabi: Oh sorry.
# Kabi brings some for Shraddha
Shraddha: Uhmm!! Where did you get these from?
Sid: We get these outside our office! There's rush almost all the time.
Shraddha: Get some for me next time.
Kabi: Fuck! Pressure aa gaya, pressure aa gaya!
# Kabilan runs to the bathroom
# Anudeep comes out of his room and goes to the kitchen to get something to drink
# Shraddha gets a call and leave the room
# Sid walks upto Anudeep
Sid: Yaar, yeh ladki sahi nahi hai.
Anudeep (Astonished): Kyun? Aisa kya bol diya usne?!
# Sid goes and sits on the couch to chat with Shraddha.
# Anudeep goes to his room to change into something comfortable.
Kabi: Man! This vada pao is heaven.
Shraddha: Idhar bhi la na, kya akele akele kha raha hai!
Kabi: Oh sorry.
# Kabi brings some for Shraddha
Shraddha: Uhmm!! Where did you get these from?
Sid: We get these outside our office! There's rush almost all the time.
Shraddha: Get some for me next time.
Kabi: Fuck! Pressure aa gaya, pressure aa gaya!
# Kabilan runs to the bathroom
# Anudeep comes out of his room and goes to the kitchen to get something to drink
# Shraddha gets a call and leave the room
# Sid walks upto Anudeep
Sid: Yaar, yeh ladki sahi nahi hai.
Anudeep (Astonished): Kyun? Aisa kya bol diya usne?!
Sid: Yaar.. wo mere se zyada janti hai Arsenal k bare me 😟
Anudeep: 😑
Anudeep: ... apne male ego ko na, apne pocket me rakh.
Sid: Left ya right?
# Shraddha comes back
Shraddha: Chalo na koi toh FIFA khelo mere saath.
Anudeep: Come let's play.
Shraddha: Alright, let's see what you got!
Anudeep: Ohh, trash talk and all huh!?
Anudeep: Let me tell you I am quite a player. I came second in the FIFA tournament.
Shraddha: Who were the participants?
Anudeep: My brother and I
Shraddha: Well, congratulations. Choose a team fast!
Anudeep: And Barca it is.
# And 30' into the game Shraddha scores the first goal
Anudeep: Huh, lucky goal!
# Kabilan comes in at Half Time, sees the scoreline and goes
Kabi: Come on, Arsenal!
Anudeep(😲): Kyaaa!
Kabi: hahaha 😂
Kabi: Tera reaction dekhne ka tha! Abe hara be isko kya kar raha hai. It's only Arsenal!
# Kabilan makes an insinuation on Shradz
Kabi: She's a noob! She can't even lob the ball, her game is too predictable!
# Shraddha is into the game
Shraddha: I know what you're doing here. You want me to throw my mind away to you.
# 65' and Shraddha scores the second goal
# Sid looks at Kabi and goes
Sid: Come on, Arsenal! 😀😝
Kabi: 😠
Anudeep (Frustrated): Kya replay dekh rahi hai, aage kar na!
# Shraddha complies
Kabi: Bro, pass the ball to Suarez!
Anudeep (Slightly livid): Ruk ja, abhi shaant bait
# 89' and Shraddha scores the 3rd goal
# Anudeep throws his console aside in irritation
# Sid looks at Anudeep and goes
Sid: Come on, Arsenal! 😀😝
Shraddha: Hahaha 😁
# Shraddha Hi-Fi's Sid
Shraddha: Arey don't worry, you'll win next time.
Anudeep: What next time!
Kabi: Jane de bhai, merko bhi yehi bola tha isne.
# Anudeep disappointed and irritated
Anudeep: 😒
# Shraddha gets a call from Aparna
Shraddha: Chalo guys, I'll take a hike, Aparna is waiting for me downstairs.
Anudeep: Shraddha is not allowed in this apartment anymore.
# Shraddha comes back
Shraddha: Chalo na koi toh FIFA khelo mere saath.
Anudeep: Come let's play.
Shraddha: Alright, let's see what you got!
Anudeep: Ohh, trash talk and all huh!?
Anudeep: Let me tell you I am quite a player. I came second in the FIFA tournament.
Shraddha: Who were the participants?
Anudeep: My brother and I
Shraddha: Well, congratulations. Choose a team fast!
Anudeep: And Barca it is.
# And 30' into the game Shraddha scores the first goal
Anudeep: Huh, lucky goal!
# Kabilan comes in at Half Time, sees the scoreline and goes
Kabi: Come on, Arsenal!
Anudeep(😲): Kyaaa!
Kabi: hahaha 😂
Kabi: Tera reaction dekhne ka tha! Abe hara be isko kya kar raha hai. It's only Arsenal!
# Kabilan makes an insinuation on Shradz
Kabi: She's a noob! She can't even lob the ball, her game is too predictable!
# Shraddha is into the game
Shraddha: I know what you're doing here. You want me to throw my mind away to you.
# 65' and Shraddha scores the second goal
# Sid looks at Kabi and goes
Sid: Come on, Arsenal! 😀😝
Kabi: 😠
Anudeep (Frustrated): Kya replay dekh rahi hai, aage kar na!
# Shraddha complies
Kabi: Bro, pass the ball to Suarez!
Anudeep (Slightly livid): Ruk ja, abhi shaant bait
# 89' and Shraddha scores the 3rd goal
# Anudeep throws his console aside in irritation
# Sid looks at Anudeep and goes
Sid: Come on, Arsenal! 😀😝
Shraddha: Hahaha 😁
# Shraddha Hi-Fi's Sid
Shraddha: Arey don't worry, you'll win next time.
Anudeep: What next time!
Kabi: Jane de bhai, merko bhi yehi bola tha isne.
# Anudeep disappointed and irritated
Anudeep: 😒
# Shraddha gets a call from Aparna
Shraddha: Chalo guys, I'll take a hike, Aparna is waiting for me downstairs.
Anudeep: Shraddha is not allowed in this apartment anymore.
Shraddha: Awww..
# Shradz rushes to the door and Kabi tries to stop her
Kabi: Ruk ruk ruk.
# Shradz rushes to the door and Kabi tries to stop her
Kabi: Ruk ruk ruk.
Kabi: Arey babaaa, ruk!
Shraddha: Oh my darling give me a look?
Kabi: 😑
# Pointing to the table Kabi says
Kabi: You forgot your keys!
Shraddha: Oh thanks!
# Shraddha picks them up
Shraddha: Chalo bye! Keep practicing guys, don't let me down!
Anudeep: 😒 byee
Kabi: 😒 byee
Sid: 😀 byee
# Shraddha closes the door
Sid: Yaar, yeh ladki toh sahi hai!
Anudeep: 😒, ja beer leke aa
# Sid goes to the kitchen to get beers
Kabi: Bhai kidhar hai humara?
Anudeep: Still in office, there's a code deployment this weekend. So.. no time.
Kabi: Great! Saved himself some ass whooping.
Anudeep: True that!
-- X --
Shraddha: Oh my darling give me a look?
Kabi: 😑
# Pointing to the table Kabi says
Kabi: You forgot your keys!
Shraddha: Oh thanks!
# Shraddha picks them up
Shraddha: Chalo bye! Keep practicing guys, don't let me down!
Anudeep: 😒 byee
Kabi: 😒 byee
Sid: 😀 byee
# Shraddha closes the door
Sid: Yaar, yeh ladki toh sahi hai!
Anudeep: 😒, ja beer leke aa
# Sid goes to the kitchen to get beers
Kabi: Bhai kidhar hai humara?
Anudeep: Still in office, there's a code deployment this weekend. So.. no time.
Kabi: Great! Saved himself some ass whooping.
Anudeep: True that!
-- X --
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