LET'S WALK
' ' ' Never forget this feeling, never gonna reach a million. Eventually all my followers realize they don’t need a meter, stay on your own shit, fuck what these clones think ' ' ' — Donald Glover
Aparna: Do you want pizza, I'm ordering?
SHE: Nahi maine usko bola hai aate waqt eak chicken roll lana.
Aparna: Okay.
SHE: Waise order one garlic breadsticks
Aparna: I already did. Mujhe pata tha tu bolegi.
SHE: 😊
Aparna: What about shraddha?
SHE: Wo kha k aane wali hai
# Aparna places the order and hangs up
# HE calls HER
SHE: Yeah, where are you?
HE: That's why I called you.
HE: I can't come yaar.. 😔
SHE: Nahi maine usko bola hai aate waqt eak chicken roll lana.
Aparna: Okay.
SHE: Waise order one garlic breadsticks
Aparna: I already did. Mujhe pata tha tu bolegi.
SHE: 😊
Aparna: What about shraddha?
SHE: Wo kha k aane wali hai
# Aparna places the order and hangs up
# HE calls HER
SHE: Yeah, where are you?
HE: That's why I called you.
HE: I can't come yaar.. 😔
SHE: Kyun?
HE: I just looked at the calendar, kal system demo hai yaar.. and we haven't even tested the code in dev.
SHE: Arey they'll purge the data next week!
HE: Then do a data copy no?
SHE: Arey yaaar!
HE: I know, I know..
SHE: If I don't prepare this report tonight, we won't have a link to the historical data.
HE: I know! Tune bola tha 😒.. ab kya karun?
SHE: Arey yaar.
HE: Ask Aparna no, she might be able to help you a little bit?
SHE (😤): Tu na..
HE: I know! Tune bola tha 😒.. ab kya karun?
SHE: Arey yaar.
HE: Ask Aparna no, she might be able to help you a little bit?
SHE (😤): Tu na..
HE: Acha, acha send me the data. I'll look at it first.
SHE: 3 million records hain! Send me the data 😒
SHE: Mai khud hi kar lungi, bye.
# SHE hangs up
Aparna: Kya hua?
SHE (Livid): He's not coming 😠
Aparna: Do you want me to call Domino's and change the order?
SHE: It's not that. I needed to prepare this report 😞
Aparna: Karte hain na, pehele pet pooja toh kar lein.
# SHE thinks for a second
SHE: Okay
# SHE comes and sits next to Aparna in the living room
Aparna: What's the report about?
SHE: We need to establish the company's strategic goals with HR departmental measurements
SHE: Boring hai!
Aparna: I think tu apne aap kar sakti hai na.
SHE: 😠
Aparna: Okay, okay. Kartein hain, kartein hain.
# A while later pizza arrives and HE's trying to hide behind the pizza guy
# SHE opens the door
SHE: Kitna hua bhaiya?
Pizza guy: 460
# SHE realizes HE's behind him
SHE: Kya kar raha hai piche chup ke. Ander aa chup chap
HE: The deception has failed 😛
HE: Hey, Aparna
Aparna: Arey, you had work no?
HE: Haan kaam jaldi khatam ho gaya. Socha aa jaun
SHE: Sab bahane hain iske.
HE: 😘
HE: Laptop kahan hai tera? Pehele teri report ka kaam kar lete hain.
SHE: Pehele kha lete hain.
HE: Khate khate kar lete hain usme kya hai.
HE: So Aparna, how's Uddesh?
Aparna: Utsav.
HE: Oh yeah, sorry.
HE: How's Ujjwal?
Aparna: 😑
Aparna: He's fine
HE: Birthday surprise kaisa laga usko?
Aparna: He didn't seem surprised at all. Almost as if he was expecting it.
HE: Haha, when is he coming here?
Aparna: End of the year, probably December.
# They start eating
SHE: Mai khud hi kar lungi, bye.
# SHE hangs up
Aparna: Kya hua?
SHE (Livid): He's not coming 😠
Aparna: Do you want me to call Domino's and change the order?
SHE: It's not that. I needed to prepare this report 😞
Aparna: Karte hain na, pehele pet pooja toh kar lein.
# SHE thinks for a second
SHE: Okay
# SHE comes and sits next to Aparna in the living room
Aparna: What's the report about?
SHE: We need to establish the company's strategic goals with HR departmental measurements
SHE: Boring hai!
Aparna: I think tu apne aap kar sakti hai na.
SHE: 😠
Aparna: Okay, okay. Kartein hain, kartein hain.
# A while later pizza arrives and HE's trying to hide behind the pizza guy
# SHE opens the door
SHE: Kitna hua bhaiya?
Pizza guy: 460
# SHE realizes HE's behind him
SHE: Kya kar raha hai piche chup ke. Ander aa chup chap
HE: The deception has failed 😛
HE: Hey, Aparna
Aparna: Arey, you had work no?
HE: Haan kaam jaldi khatam ho gaya. Socha aa jaun
SHE: Sab bahane hain iske.
HE: 😘
HE: Laptop kahan hai tera? Pehele teri report ka kaam kar lete hain.
SHE: Pehele kha lete hain.
HE: Khate khate kar lete hain usme kya hai.
HE: So Aparna, how's Uddesh?
Aparna: Utsav.
HE: Oh yeah, sorry.
HE: How's Ujjwal?
Aparna: 😑
Aparna: He's fine
HE: Birthday surprise kaisa laga usko?
Aparna: He didn't seem surprised at all. Almost as if he was expecting it.
HE: Haha, when is he coming here?
Aparna: End of the year, probably December.
# They start eating
# He gets on Her laptop
HE: Tum log ka reporting application kaunsa hai?
SHE: Workday
HE: Pehele toh last year k strategic goals nikalne padenge na.
SHE: No, you don't have to do all that. We only need last quarter's and you'll get the metrics on workday itself.
HE: Tum log ka reporting application kaunsa hai?
SHE: Workday
HE: Pehele toh last year k strategic goals nikalne padenge na.
SHE: No, you don't have to do all that. We only need last quarter's and you'll get the metrics on workday itself.
HE: And why will they purge the data? It's just the last quarter no?
SHE: Purge as in.. you can't query it anymore, you'll have to request access for that. It's a long process 😪
Aparna (😁): My manager says, "Don't WIP it, ship it."
HE: WIP it?
Aparna (😁): Work In Progress
HE: I don't get it.
Aparna (😁): Neither do I.
HE: 😑
HE: Anyway, you can create a calculated field for performance consideration. . .
HE: Wait, he said that to you?
Aparna: That's his Whatsapp status.
HE: Who stalks their own manager.
Aparna: 😑 mind your own business.
HE: Anyway, you can explain performance considerations using the custom report.
# They complete building the report
SHE: Ufff, meri kamar tut gayi!
HE: Isme toh bahut tha karne ko. I seriously didn't know you deal with employee data and review meetings.
SHE: Hmm, kaam toh bas tum hi karte ho.
HE: Acha beta, taane!!? 😏
SHE: Haan, chal ab.
Aparna (😁): My manager says, "Don't WIP it, ship it."
HE: WIP it?
Aparna (😁): Work In Progress
HE: I don't get it.
Aparna (😁): Neither do I.
HE: 😑
HE: Anyway, you can create a calculated field for performance consideration. . .
HE: Wait, he said that to you?
Aparna: That's his Whatsapp status.
HE: Who stalks their own manager.
Aparna: 😑 mind your own business.
HE: Anyway, you can explain performance considerations using the custom report.
# They complete building the report
SHE: Ufff, meri kamar tut gayi!
HE: Isme toh bahut tha karne ko. I seriously didn't know you deal with employee data and review meetings.
SHE: Hmm, kaam toh bas tum hi karte ho.
HE: Acha beta, taane!!? 😏
SHE: Haan, chal ab.
HE: Kidhar?
SHE: I need some fresh air.
HE: Haan, lekin kidhar?
SHE: Let's go for a walk, to the park.
SHE: I need some fresh air.
HE: Haan, lekin kidhar?
SHE: Let's go for a walk, to the park.
HE: Park kahan hai?
SHE: Idhar hi hai niche
# Aparna comes out of her room
Aparna: Done with the report?
HE: Haan, finally.
HE: Tune Malik sahab ka naya gaana suna kya?
Aparna: Kaunsa?
HE: Dusk till Dawn, Taylor Swift k saath.
Aparna: Tune Malik sahab ka wo gaana suna kya?
HE: Kaunsa?
Aparna: Eak garam chai ki pyaali ho. . .
HE: 😑
HE: Isliye India aage nahi baad raha
-- WALKING IN THE PARK --
/* HE's on a call */
HE: Haan
HE: Nahi nahi. Mai nikal gaya office se
HE: Pata nahi I'm full dude.
HE: Haan, thik hai. Chal bye.
SHE: Kya hua?
HE: Kuch nahi Sid ka call tha, puch raha tha 'bahar kahan jana hai khane ko?'
SHE: Ohh
# SHE starts thinking
SHE: What is Sid's actual name?
HE: Sid hi hai, aur kya hoga?
SHE: So that's the name on his passport, Sid?
HE: Oh, that way.
HE: Uska naam
HE: Ek minute. . .
HE: Bhool gaya mai, kya tha!?
SHE: Chod jane de
HE: No, wait I know it.
# Still wondering
SHE: Jhoot kyun bola mujhe k nahi aa raha hun.
HE: Arey surprise kar raha tha terko, kaisa laga?
SHE: Vaahiyaad! Eakdum teri tarah.
SHE: Kyun aya tu?
HE (😃): Chala jaun phir?
SHE: Maar khani hai tujhe?
HE: Arey. . .
SHE: Bait chup chap se
HE: Nahi lekin seriously. Kal actually system demo hai.
SHE: Acha
SHE: Sid also works in your office?
HE: No, only Anudeep.
SHE: Kitna yawn karta hai.
HE: Arey ab aa raha hai toh kya karun?
SHE: You, Kabilan, Anudeep are all college friends or what?
HE: No just me and Kabilan.
HE: I met Anudeep when I joined office.
SHE: Kabilan doesn't work or what?
HE: Haha
HE: Uska designing ka kaam hai. He's a Design Architect.
SHE: So?
HE: See, any software project first goes through the requirement phase then the design phase then comes implementation.
SHE: Idhar hi hai niche
# Aparna comes out of her room
Aparna: Done with the report?
HE: Haan, finally.
HE: Tune Malik sahab ka naya gaana suna kya?
Aparna: Kaunsa?
HE: Dusk till Dawn, Taylor Swift k saath.
Aparna: Tune Malik sahab ka wo gaana suna kya?
HE: Kaunsa?
Aparna: Eak garam chai ki pyaali ho. . .
HE: 😑
HE: Isliye India aage nahi baad raha
-- WALKING IN THE PARK --
/* HE's on a call */
HE: Haan
HE: Nahi nahi. Mai nikal gaya office se
HE: Pata nahi I'm full dude.
HE: Haan, thik hai. Chal bye.
SHE: Kya hua?
HE: Kuch nahi Sid ka call tha, puch raha tha 'bahar kahan jana hai khane ko?'
SHE: Ohh
# SHE starts thinking
SHE: What is Sid's actual name?
HE: Sid hi hai, aur kya hoga?
SHE: So that's the name on his passport, Sid?
HE: Oh, that way.
HE: Uska naam
HE: Ek minute. . .
HE: Bhool gaya mai, kya tha!?
SHE: Chod jane de
HE: No, wait I know it.
# Still wondering
SHE: Jhoot kyun bola mujhe k nahi aa raha hun.
HE: Arey surprise kar raha tha terko, kaisa laga?
SHE: Vaahiyaad! Eakdum teri tarah.
SHE: Kyun aya tu?
HE (😃): Chala jaun phir?
SHE: Maar khani hai tujhe?
HE: Arey. . .
SHE: Bait chup chap se
HE: Nahi lekin seriously. Kal actually system demo hai.
SHE: Acha
SHE: Sid also works in your office?
HE: No, only Anudeep.
SHE: Kitna yawn karta hai.
HE: Arey ab aa raha hai toh kya karun?
SHE: You, Kabilan, Anudeep are all college friends or what?
HE: No just me and Kabilan.
HE: I met Anudeep when I joined office.
SHE: Kabilan doesn't work or what?
HE: Haha
HE: Uska designing ka kaam hai. He's a Design Architect.
SHE: So?
HE: See, any software project first goes through the requirement phase then the design phase then comes implementation.
SHE: Data structures ki class le raha hai?
HE: Kyun?
SHE: Pata hai mujhe!
HE: Sooo, his project is now in implementation phase. Technically uska kaam ho gaya hai, for this project. Now, if any changes happen during implementation, he only has to update the project designs.
SHE: Ohhh
HE: Toh sirf tab office jana padega, warna he Works From Home.
SHE: Acha.
HE: Work From Home bhi kya. Kuch kaam nahi karta hai wo.
HE: Pura din bas timepass.
HE: Nahi toh Shraddha k saath FIFA me haar k khush ho jata hai.
SHE: Haha. 😁
HE: Aur Shraddha?
SHE: Pata nahi uska.
HE: Toh baat karo na usse.
SHE: Aisa nahi hai, baat ki hai maine. Aparna ne bhi kei baar bola hai.
HE: Toh?
SHE: Pata nahi, uske dimag me kya chal raha hai.
HE: Hmm
# Silence ensues
HE: Par koi toh reason hoga?
SHE: I don't know. She just wasn't interested, bolti hai. . . mann nahi lag raha tha kaam me.
HE: Does she have anything in mind?
SHE: As in?
HE: On what to do next?
SHE: I'm not sure
HE: Ghar pe bataya usne?
SHE: Haan bola. Ghar wale toh kehe rahe hain acha hai ab shaadi kar lo.
HE: God! She just wants to live on her own terms. Shaadi karna zaruri hai kya!? She just wants some time off.
SHE: Tu samjha de uske parents ko.
# HE doesn't say anything
SHE: Tu thak ta nahi hai kya itna chal k!
HE: You only said walk karte hain.
SHE: Haan ho gaya. Thak gayi mai.
# They find a bench and sit down
SHE: Phir se yawn kar raha hai! 😠
SHE: Kitna yawn karta hai, ganda ladka!
HE: Haan mother Teresa, ganda ladka.
SHE: Hehe 😋
# Silence ensues
SHE: Mujhe Kolkata ki bahut yaad aati hai kabhi kabhi.
SHE: Bahut time ho gaya nahi gayi hun na
HE: Toh hoke aa ja na kuch din k liye.
SHE: Soch rahi thi Diwali pe chali jaun, momma bula bhi rahi thi. . . par nahi ja payi.
HE: Arey do teen din ki chutti le aur ho k aa ja.
SHE: Jab tak wahan thi hamesha irritate hoti thi. yeh kaisi sadake hain, kaise log hain seedhe mu baat karna bhi nahi aata, choti choti dukaane hain. Ab wahi cheezain yaad aati hain.
HE: Kuch din k liye toh ja hi sakti hai 😕
SHE: Lekin mai nahi chahti na ki tu mujhe miss karta rahe
HE: Tu tension mat le, team me nahi analyst ayi hai. Onsite.
HE: She'll keep me company.
SHE: Acha, bade pankh nikal rahe hain tumhare
HE: Koi shaq.
SHE: I don't know, but for some reason I always miss Kolkata
HE: Probably. . . because you spent your teenage there.
SHE: Probably
# Silence ensues
HE: Mai toh keheta hun hoke aaja!
SHE: Chutti nahi milne wali baby, agle do mahine tak.
HE: Kyun? 😕
SHE: Kodaikanal kya long weekend pe gaye the.
HE: Arey haan. 😗
HE: Ohhh
SHE: Time kya ho raha hai?
HE: Fuck! 11:30 ho gaya!
SHE: Kya! 11:30?
SHE: Arey, merko jaldi sona tha.
HE: Merko, ghar jana hai!
HE: Tu na, sab teri wajah se hota hai.
SHE: Maine kya. . .
HE: Chal ab. Subha jaldi utna hai merko
SHE: Acha listen!
HE: Kya?
SHE: Uhmmm. . . Uhmm. . . Kuch nahi.
HE: Tu na!
# HE comes back and kisses HER
SHE: Hehe 😋
SHE: Call me once you reach home.
HE: Okay.
HE: By the way, it's Siddharth
SHE: Tu Siddharth naam bhool gaya tha! Kitna common naam hai!
HE: Okay, goodnight
-- X --
HE: Sooo, his project is now in implementation phase. Technically uska kaam ho gaya hai, for this project. Now, if any changes happen during implementation, he only has to update the project designs.
SHE: Ohhh
HE: Toh sirf tab office jana padega, warna he Works From Home.
SHE: Acha.
HE: Work From Home bhi kya. Kuch kaam nahi karta hai wo.
HE: Pura din bas timepass.
HE: Nahi toh Shraddha k saath FIFA me haar k khush ho jata hai.
SHE: Haha. 😁
HE: Aur Shraddha?
SHE: Pata nahi uska.
HE: Toh baat karo na usse.
SHE: Aisa nahi hai, baat ki hai maine. Aparna ne bhi kei baar bola hai.
HE: Toh?
SHE: Pata nahi, uske dimag me kya chal raha hai.
HE: Hmm
# Silence ensues
HE: Par koi toh reason hoga?
SHE: I don't know. She just wasn't interested, bolti hai. . . mann nahi lag raha tha kaam me.
HE: Does she have anything in mind?
SHE: As in?
HE: On what to do next?
SHE: I'm not sure
HE: Ghar pe bataya usne?
SHE: Haan bola. Ghar wale toh kehe rahe hain acha hai ab shaadi kar lo.
HE: God! She just wants to live on her own terms. Shaadi karna zaruri hai kya!? She just wants some time off.
SHE: Tu samjha de uske parents ko.
# HE doesn't say anything
SHE: Tu thak ta nahi hai kya itna chal k!
HE: You only said walk karte hain.
SHE: Haan ho gaya. Thak gayi mai.
# They find a bench and sit down
SHE: Phir se yawn kar raha hai! 😠
SHE: Kitna yawn karta hai, ganda ladka!
HE: Haan mother Teresa, ganda ladka.
SHE: Hehe 😋
# Silence ensues
SHE: Mujhe Kolkata ki bahut yaad aati hai kabhi kabhi.
SHE: Bahut time ho gaya nahi gayi hun na
HE: Toh hoke aa ja na kuch din k liye.
SHE: Soch rahi thi Diwali pe chali jaun, momma bula bhi rahi thi. . . par nahi ja payi.
HE: Arey do teen din ki chutti le aur ho k aa ja.
SHE: Jab tak wahan thi hamesha irritate hoti thi. yeh kaisi sadake hain, kaise log hain seedhe mu baat karna bhi nahi aata, choti choti dukaane hain. Ab wahi cheezain yaad aati hain.
HE: Kuch din k liye toh ja hi sakti hai 😕
SHE: Lekin mai nahi chahti na ki tu mujhe miss karta rahe
HE: Tu tension mat le, team me nahi analyst ayi hai. Onsite.
HE: She'll keep me company.
SHE: Acha, bade pankh nikal rahe hain tumhare
HE: Koi shaq.
SHE: I don't know, but for some reason I always miss Kolkata
HE: Probably. . . because you spent your teenage there.
SHE: Probably
# Silence ensues
HE: Mai toh keheta hun hoke aaja!
SHE: Chutti nahi milne wali baby, agle do mahine tak.
HE: Kyun? 😕
SHE: Kodaikanal kya long weekend pe gaye the.
HE: Arey haan. 😗
HE: Ohhh
SHE: Time kya ho raha hai?
HE: Fuck! 11:30 ho gaya!
SHE: Kya! 11:30?
SHE: Arey, merko jaldi sona tha.
HE: Merko, ghar jana hai!
HE: Tu na, sab teri wajah se hota hai.
SHE: Maine kya. . .
HE: Chal ab. Subha jaldi utna hai merko
SHE: Acha listen!
HE: Kya?
SHE: Uhmmm. . . Uhmm. . . Kuch nahi.
HE: Tu na!
# HE comes back and kisses HER
SHE: Hehe 😋
SHE: Call me once you reach home.
HE: Okay.
HE: By the way, it's Siddharth
SHE: Tu Siddharth naam bhool gaya tha! Kitna common naam hai!
HE: Okay, goodnight
-- X --
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