YOUR TURN OR MINE?

' ' ' Fuck positivity, let's be honest, sometimes things are fucked up and we have to live with it ' ' ' 

-- Mark Manson

/* HE walks into the living room after a hard day's work and sees Anudeep & Sid playing FIFA */

Anudeep: You were supposed to be here 30 minutes ago.

HE: There's something called traffic. In case, you didn't know.

Anudeep: Ouhh, smartness huh! 😏

HE: Aur tu idhar kya kar raha hai, tera toh badminton match tha na aaj?

Sid: Yeah, I got a bye.

HE: How?

Sid: The other guy didn't show up.

HE: Lucky, motherfucker huh!

HE: Which means you go out in the next round.

Sid: 😉 Precisely.

HE: I don't get it. Why did you even sign up for the tournament when you're no good at Badminton?

Sid: It's good cardio.

HE: Yeah, that's why you should go play at the sports club.

Sid: Don't question me. Let me concentrate on the game.

HE: 😒

HE: And why are you all dressed up?

Anudeep: Nothing special. Just heading over to Janet's place.

HE: Nice!

Anudeep: Well, we didn't meet for a while. So thought of hanging out tonight.

HE: Good, good.

HE: Where's Kabi?

Anudeep: Office

# HE gets a call & picks it up 

SHE: Are you ready?

HE: Ready for what?

SHE: Kavish ki wedding reception.

HE: It's today!?

SHE: Yes, it's today.

HE: Oh yeahh.

HE: Because I remember Sid ka match and the reception were on the same day.

HE: And you know what? Sid ka match bhi nahi hai aaj

SHE: Acha, wo yaad hai tujhe.

HE: Uhh. . . no, not like that.

SHE: Acha, get ready fast.

HE: Uhmm. . . Jana zaruri hai kya?

SHE: 😑 Seriously, you want to do this right now? Really?

HE: Okay, okay, fine. I'll get dressed.

SHE: Okay, bye.

HE: Ufff

Sid: Hahaha. . . and that's how it's done, bitch.

# Sid wins 2-0

Anudeep: Alright folks, I'm off.

HE: And I'll get dressed for the reception.

Sid: And I'll get back to. . . to. . . yeah, alright.

-- AT THE RECEPTION -- 

# HE's thinking, standing at the reception, "Kya hai yaar yeh! office me bhi mil sakta tha na isse. Zabardasti bula liya. Zaruri tha kya itna aana. Itne log. . . faltu ka matlab. . . timepass! Abey gulab jamun!"

# SHE's thinking, standing at the reception, "Lighting kitni achi hai idhar, aur setup bhi acha kiya hai inhone. Uska lehenga. . . Sabyasachi hai kya? Lekin mai aisa wala nahi lungi. Yeh kafi shiny hai, mera red and white hoga. Aur yeh kaisa reception hai, mai toh Marriott me rakhungi."

SHE: Yeh dekh. . . Ehh, kahan ja raha hai?

HE: Wo gulab jamun.

SHE: Idhar aa.

HE: Kya?

SHE: In logon ne stage acha setup kiya hai na?

HE: Okay hai! Itna khaas bhi nahi.

SHE: 😒 Tu rehene de, tu ja gulab jamun kha.

HE: Tujhe chaiye?

SHE: Nahi!

# HE walks away

-- AT JANET'S PLACE -- 

Anudeep: You've got a pretty sweet apartment.

Janet: Yep, after a lot of struggle.

Anudeep: I totally agree. It's an ordeal to find good apartments in this city.

Janet: Talk to me about it.

Anudeep: So when did you come back from office?

Janet: About an hour ago.

Janet: I'm making tea for myself. Will you have some?

Anudeep: Yeah, I can have some.

# In the meanwhile, Anudeep is going through her pictures hung up on the wall in the living room

# SHE comes back with two cups of tea

Janet: That one is when I was 4 years old.

Anudeep: Really? you look 8 years old in that.

Janet: Mom and dad tell me I was singing careless whisper. And I have no memory of that. LoL

Anudeep: Really? George Micheal?

Janet: 😒

Anudeep: Alright I like him too. 😀

Janet: Who doesn't?

Anudeep: And this? What were you doing here?

Janet: That's not me. That's my sister.

Anudeep: Who's she talking to on the phone?

Janet: There's no one on the other side.

Anudeep: 😁

# They go and sit down on the couch

Anudeep: You know what. I was thinking. We went to college together, we've been friends for some time but we barely know anything about each other.

Janet: What are you talking about? I know everything about you. You're a pussy when it comes to talking to girls.

Anudeep: Okay 😬. Besides that.

Anudeep: What's my favorite food?

Janet: I don't know.

Anudeep: That's what I'm saying.

Janet: Hmm.

Janet: Do you want to play a game?

Anudeep: What game?

Janet: What's your favorit meal?

Anudeep: My favorite meal?

Janet: Yes.

Anudeep: Uhmm. . . Chicken tikka masala and naan.

Anudeep: Butter naan.

Janet: I think butter chicken is better but anyway, your turn.

Anudeep: My turn?

Janet: Yeah, ask me anything.

Anudeep: Okay!? Favorite holiday destination?

Janet: Holiday destination? Hmm. . . I like to be home on holidays and weekends.

Anudeep: You don't like travelling a lot?

Janet: Nah. Not so much

Anudeep: Wow, usually girls love to travel.

Janet: Okay next question

Janet: Snow / Summer / Rain / Spring / Autumn?

Anudeep: Summer.

Janet: Me too 😊

Anudeep: I hate snow.

Janet: Then why aren't you moving out of the city? It gets really cold here in the winters. . .

Anudeep: Haha. Because I'm not getting a good job offer elsewhere.

Janet: Actually even I don't like winters. Always have to carry an extra jacket to work. It becomes a baggage of its own.

Anudeep: Okay, okay. Whose turn?

Janet: Yours

Anudeep: Dogs or cats?

Anudeep: I think I know the answer. Stupid question. LoL

Janet: I think they are too different to compare. I have a small dog though.

Anudeep: Where is it?

Janet: Not here, in Singapore.

Anudeep: Dogs anyday for me. Cats are mean.

Janet: Domestic cats are assholes! But on the other hand I feel dogs are actually high maintenance

Anudeep: What breed do you have?

Janet: Shiba Inu.

Anudeep: Oh you got a DOGE!!?

Janet: Yeah 😁

Janet: Uhmm. . . BJP or Congress?

Anudeep: Neither, I don't get politics. 😬

Janet: Yeah, it's sticky

Janet: Your turn.

Anudeep: Writing or typing?

Janet: Hmm. . . I don't mind typing and sometimes your hand cramps up if you write for too long, but then again, it's nice to see your own notes lying around sometimes. So. . . writing.

Anudeep: Haha, I like writing albeit I don't mind typing. Your turn. 

Janet: Favorite TV show.

Anudeep: I really liked Friends, How I met your mother and a few others. But I don't watch TV series anymore.

Anudeep: What's your favorite!?

Janet: GoT

Anudeep: GoT?

Janet: 😳 Game of Thrones!?

Janet: Are you serious?

Anudeep: Yeah, I know nothing about it.

Janet: How come you haven't seen it yet? 😮

Anudeep: 😒 Do we really have to do this?

Janet: Dude, you need to watch it!

Anudeep: I NEED to watch it?

Janet: You do.

Anudeep: I don't think I NEED to watch it. 😑

-- AT THE RECEPTION -- 

HE: Wo dekh.

# SHE looks

HE: Hot hai na?

SHE: 😑

SHE: Bekar hai. Behind you.

# HE looks

HE: Kya baat hai. Teri nazarein toh badi tez hain.

SHE: Thank you

# Kavish walks by

Kavish: Thank you so much guys for coming. 

HE: Yaar, jo bhi kaho tum log ne stage bada acha setup kiya hai. 

SHE: 😒

Kavish: Haha, thank you yaar

SHE: Where's the lady luck Kavish? Biwi se kab milaoge?

Kavish: She must be here somewhere.

# Kavish looks around 

Kavish: Oh yeah, there she is. Let me go fetc-. . . 

# Someone in the background, "Hey Kavish!"

Kavish: Yeah coming.

Kavish: I'll just be back guys.

Kavish: Arey, tum log kuch toh khao na. You guys didn't eat anything?

HE: Don't worry, we'll get something.

SHE: Yeah, you take care of the guests.

Kavish: Alright 😀

HE: Kuch toh kha le tu?

SHE: Nahi bhook nahi hai.

# HE whispers into HER ears

HE: Dekh mai bata raha hun, masala dosa bahut acha mil raha hai yahan.

SHE: 😟 Pagal hai kya! Moti ho jaungi!

HE: Acha, health conscious hua ja raha hai.

SHE: Haan toh, shaadi k liye patla hona hai.

HE: Arey shaadi waadi toh hoti rahegi. But think about the hot crispy dosa. The masala. The tomato chutney.

SHE: Kaunsa counter hai.

HE: 7

# SHE walks away

HE: 😏

# HE stands there

HE: Ruk mai bhi aa raha hun.

-- AT JANET'S PLACE -- 

Anudeep: Long walks or long drives?

Janet: I prefer long walks

Anudeep: Me too. Your turn 

Janet: What kind of music have you been listening to lately?

Anudeep: I have been listening to A.R. Rahman Tamil songs these days but my all time favorites are Dire Straits and London Grammar.

Janet: 😃 You like London Grammar too!!

Anudeep: Areyy us bandi ki aawaz me kya depth hai!!

Janet: I know!

Anudeep: She's got the voice range of Adele and Sia.

Janet: I've heard all their songs!

Janet: Your turn

Anudeep: What's your favorite ice-cream?

Janet: Mint.

Anudeep: Ughh. I don't like mint ice-cream at all, although I like mint. My favorite would be chocolate.

Janet: BO-ring

Anudeep: I know, I know. I have boring choices. Your turn.

Janet: Uhmm. . . I can't think of anything, I skip you go.

Anudeep: 😮 You can do that?

Janet: Yes

Janet: Next question.

Anudeep: Black or white?

Janet: Black

Anudeep: Sweet or spicy?

Janet: Sweet but I like spicy every now and then.

Anudeep (Wondering): What is you. . . 

Janet: Ouhh, I have one

Janet: Favorite pizza?

Anudeep: Favorite pizza!? Uhmm. . . Pan pizza with tomato, onions, red pepper and some olives.

Anudeep: Ouh! And garlic bread sticks.

Janet: Are you serious? That's great. I get the same toppings! My favorite pizza is a veggie!

Anudeep: Wow. That's a coincidence.

Janet: Coincidence or bro-incidence?

Anudeep: 😒 You're killing it.

Janet: okay

Anudeep: Whose turn?

Janet: Uhmm. . . yours?

Anudeep: Aaahh, favorite beverage?

Janet: I like decaf coffee with chocolate almond milk.

Anudeep: I don't like coffee but I do like hot chocolate with whipped cream and my favorite beverage is beer.

Janet: I like ciders.

Anudeep: Angry Orchard? 

Janet: I dig Angry Orchard!

Anudeep: I'm fond of it as well.

Anudeep: Go out running or sit at home watch netflix?

Janet: Sit at home watch netflix 😬

Janet: Cooking or take away?

Anudeep: That reminds me. Kuch order karte hai na, I'm starving!

Janet: Call Dominoes.

Anudeep: Where's my phone?

# HE looks around

Anudeep: Calling or texting?

Janet: Texting.

Anudeep: Calling

Anudeep: Favorite sport?

Janet: Yeah, that's fine. Call Dominoes now.

-- AT THE RECEPTION -- 

/* They walk out of the reception to the parking lot */

SHE: Acha tha na.

HE: Haan! Especially dahi papdi. Wo toh out of the world tha.

SHE: 😑 I'm talking about the reception!

HE: Yeah, yeah. All in all, it was good. Actually, I was impressed by the number of people that turned up.

SHE: It's a wedding reception. You will have these many people.

HE: Really? okay.

SHE: Oye

HE: Haan.

SHE: Sun na

HE: Bol na

SHE: Kya karna hai shaadi ka?

HE: Kis ki shaadi ka?

SHE: Humari shaadi ka

HE: Haan.

SHE: Mom dad har do hafto me ladka dekhne ki baat karte rehete hain.

SHE: Kya bolun unhe?

HE: Bol de na kuch.

SHE: Areyy!

SHE: 😠 I'm running out of excuses now! You understand!

HE: Yeah, okay.

SHE: Kya okay? Karna kya hai tujhe?

HE: I don't know, socha nahi.

SHE: I don't know?!?

SHE: Hold on, hold on. 

# HE stops in his tracks

SHE: Mai yahan roz apna dimaag kharab karti reheti hun and all you've got is "socha nahi"!?

HE: Arey toh mat soch na tu bhi, kyun soch rahi hai!?

SHE: Mujhe bhi koi shauk nahi hai. Mummi papa puchte rehete hain toh kuch kehena padta hai.

HE: Chod jane de, baad me baat karte hain iss bare me.

SHE: Tu iss topic ko hamesha dodge hi karta rahega ya kabhi actually baat bhi karega.

HE: What do you want me to say to you?

HE: Jhoont bolun?!

HE: You know I love you. What else can I say?

SHE: Wah, yeh sahi hai tumhara. You want to connect a little but not a lot, you want to commit a little but not too much.

HE: What's wrong with you!? You know it's not like that!

SHE: It sure as hell seems like!

# Silence ensues

HE (Calmly): Look I've told you this a 100 times, I need to think about it.

SHE: When the hell will you think about it?

HE: Look, there's a lot going on in the office lately. Waqt nahi mila yaar! Yeh sab sochne ka! 

SHE: Kaam toh bas tu karta hai na. Hum toh bas yahan jhak maar rahe hain.

HE: You're being ridiculous now.

SHE: You don't think I have issues at work!?

SHE: Har choti cheez ka issue nahi banati mai.

HE: Faltu me idhar aa gaya, aana hi nahi chaiye tha.

SHE: Nobody forced you to come, okay!

HE: Tujhe mann tha aane ka isliye maine haan bola.

SHE: Haan toh mai akeli bhi aa sakti thi, koi ehsaan nahi kiya tune.

HE: Dekh mujhe jhagada nahi karna hai. Why are we having this conversation right now!

SHE: Becuase you never fucking have the time to talk about these things! 

HE: Well, then I don't have time right now.

SHE: Fine.

HE: Fine.

SHE: Goodnight.

# SHE starts to walk off

HE: What do you mean?

SHE: I'll get an auto, don't worry. Go home.

HE: Listen to me.

# HE comes right behind

# SHE gets in an auto

HE: Listen. It's late, I'm telling you. Let's go home-. . . 

SHE: Please!

SHE: I'm just tired of these games.

SHE: Leave me alone!

# Silence

SHE: Good night

# The auto drives away

-- X --