THIS ONE OR THIS ONE?

 ' ' ' Yeah, I'm a lucky man to count on both hands the ones I love ' ' ' 
-- Eddie Vedder

/* Anudeep, Shraddha, Kabi, HIM & HER are in the the mall */  

/* SHE is just casually going through the apparels in the H&M outlet and Kabi is looking around for a jeans */

HE: You like H&M more or Forever21?

SHE: Depends, if I’m looking for something casual like loose t-shirts then I go for H&M but if I am looking for something like a party wear then I go for Forever21.

HE: Itna sab dekhti hain ladkiyan??!

SHE: Haan fir! Obviously!

HE: Kya farak padta hai, end me toh chappal hi lana hota hai na.

SHE: 😠

# She hits him and he tries to defend

HE: Eh, eh don’t hit me 😟

SHE: Kab khareedi chappal maine??

HE: Last month.

SHE: ...before that?

HE: Ab kya notes bana k rakhu?

# She lets it go

SHE: Why? You don’t have preferences or what?

HE: 😁 You know what, me and Anudeep we just go to Pantaloons or Westside, ek hi baar me sabbbb khareed lete hain fir pure saal k liye chutti! 

SHE: Guys can do that, girls can’t.

HE: Aisa nahi hai, you can order online na? Even I have started doing that now. Merko toh malls ane ka mann bhi nahi karta ab. 

SHE: I know tujhe ane ka mann nahi karta 😒 

SHE: And I can’t buy clothes online! You never find the right fit 😔

HE: Haan but you can always return it na if it doesn’t fit!?

SHE: How many times have you returned something?

HE: I dont know .. Even if something is not the right fit I adjust it somehow. Kiske pas time hai abhi return weturn karte baitho. 

SHE: 🙄

HE: 💡Achaaaa! I see what you’re saying

SHE: Every girl has that problem. But I still order stuff online though.

HE: Like?

SHE (sheepishly): Chappal 😁

HE: 😁

# Kabi walks over

Kabi: Itna sab saamaan rakha hai in logo ne lekin ek dhang ki jeans nahi hai!

HE: Men’s ka section upar hai. 

Kabi: Oh.

— AT NIKE OUTLET — 

# Shraddha and Anudeep are in the Nike outlet, browsing through. Avicii - Silhouettes is playing in the background

Anudeep: Abey yeh gaana! I fucking love this song!!

# They keep walking ahead 

Anudeep: Avicii todu tha yaar!

Shrads: This is Avicii??

Anudeep: Yeahhh! Silhouettes.

Anudeep: This was actually my first Avicii song. 

Anudeep: My friend and I, we were coming back from tuitions and he played it on his MP4.

Shrads: MP4???

Anudeep: Yeah, poor man's iTouch.

Shrads (realizing): Oh, acha, MP4!

Anudeep: Even the video was fucking amazing! It blew my mind at the time.

Shrads: Kyun? What was so special about the video?

Anudeep: Areyy the entire video is about a surgery..

Shrads: Hain?

Anudeep: Surgery as in, they don't show the actual surgery blood and body parts and all but, they just show the lead up to the surgery.

Shrads: But why?

Anudeep: Because it’s a fun song they don't want to make it all serious and all

Shrads: Okay..

Anudeep: Areyy, there's a guy actually and he's really nervous about the surgery, they show all that. He finally goes under the knife..

Anudeep: And at the end the doctor comes out of the operation theatre and then finally they show a girl and finish. 

Shrads: What?? Kuch bhi matlab

Anudeep: Areyy the guy wanted to become a girl! 

Shrads: Ohh!

Anudeep: It's about sex change!

Shrads: Toh aisa bol na!

# She starts going through the t-shirts 

Anudeep: Areyyb… mera explaining thoda kharaab hai yaar!.. Pchkk , my English is not that good naa 😖.. bhenchod, fucking!!

# Shraddha picks one out

Shrads: What do you think about this one?

Anudeep: I think it’s a fly!

Shrads: It's a fly!?? It's fly! Makkhi hai kya!? 😒

Anudeep: 😔

Shrads: Aghh!

# She walks past him saying, 'why didn't I just get Kabi!'

Anudeep: 😢

— INSIDE THE MALL — 

# Kabi, HIM & HER come out of H&M and start walking ahead

# Kabi is checking the scores on his phone

Kabi: Bhai, 206-5 

HE: Kitna chaiye apne ko?

Kabi: 78 in 55 balls

HE: Crease pe kaun hai 

Kabi: Pandya aur Jadeja.

HE: Areyy yaar!

Kabi: Kya hua?

HE: Merko na, yeh Pandya aur Pogba dono same hi lagte hain

Kabi: Kaise?

HE: Dono ka height, weight, skin color sab same hi hai. 

HE: Attitude bhi same hai. 

HE: Aur game bhi ek hi jaisa hai, highly inconsistent!

Kabi: Lol

HE: Fir bhi logo ko lagta hai ki "yeh kar k dikhayega bhai! Yeh kar k dikhayega!"

HE: 5 saal se log wait hi kar rahe hain

Kabi (mockingly): aisa kyun bol ra hai? Generational talent hai wo.

HE: 😑

HE: Ek ek match me toh lagta hai ‘bhai isse acha player koi nahi’. Uske baad lagta hai, “bhai yeh kyun hai?”

Kabi: 😆

Kabi: World cup jeeta hai bhai wo!

HE: Kaun? Pandya? 😳

Kabi: nahii Pogba!

HE (admitting): Haan!!! World cup toh jeet ta hai bhai!.. Manchester United me pata nahi kya ho jata hai use?

Kabi: Juve chale jana chaiye usko.

HE: Haan!

Kabi: Aur ab toh possible bhi hai! Now that Juve has sold Ronaldo.

HE: Exactly

# Kabi spots the ‘Hot Topic’ outlet

Kabi: Broo!! Hot Topic

# They walk into the outlet

Kabi: Bas Pearl Jam ka shirt mil jaye yaar idhar!

SHE: Pearl Jam!? I thought YOU liked Pearl Jam more!?

HE: 😁 Noo, Kabi loves Pearl Jam! Wo pagal hai uske liye.

SHE: Then, the other day why did you say my love Pearl Jam and all?

HE: Aise hi irritate karne k liye 😋

SHE: 😱Hawww! Kitna ganda hai tu!

HE: 😬

Helper: I am sorry sir, we are out and the new batch comes on Monday. But we do have other artists RHCP, LedZep, Slipknot..

Kabi: No, that’s fine 

Helper: Sorry sir.  

Kabi: Nahi hai bhai ☹️

HE: Chod jaane de, I feel next time tak aa jayega. 

— AT NIKE OUTLET — 

# Shraddha is in the trial room and Anudeep is outside. He gets a call from Kabi

# Anudeep answers it 

Anudeep: Haan bol

Kabi: Hum log abhi food court ja rahe hain toh tum log seedhe wahi aa jao

Anudeep: Okay.

# He hangs up. Shraddha comes out of the trial room

Anudeep: Fitting wagera sab sahi hai?

Shrads: Yeah.

Anudeep: Let’s go to the food court after this, Kabi just called, they are going there.

Shrads: Okay

# They head to the billing counter 

— INSIDE THE MALL —

# They are walking down the mall

Kabi: You know who's one of the greatest rappers around right now?

HE: Who?

Kabi: I guess greatest isn't the right word.. but, most talented rapper right now. 

HE: Pop Smoke?

Kabi: No.

HE: DaBaby?

Kabi: No.

HE: Lil Baby?

Kabi: No

SHE: Kaun hain yeh log!!? kaisa naam hai yeh?

HE: Insaan hain, just like you and I.

SHE: Chup! 😒 kuch bhi bolta hai.

HE: Areyy sacchi 😁

SHE: Sometimes I just don't get you..

HE: Mai dil me aata hun, samajh me nahi!

SHE: Toh kya tere piche piche ghomti rahun har waqt!!?

HE: Aap devil k piche, devil aapke piche 😈😈 Too much fun!! 😎😎

SHE: Teri toh!

Kabi: 😁

# SHE tries to hit HIM & HE backs off a little bit

HE: Eh eh eh! Kya kar rahi hai!!

SHE: Sirf bakwaas karna ata hai kya tujhe!?

HE: Rey Sultan kar de chadhaiii 💪

SHE: 😓

Kabi: 😂

Kabi: Acha yeh bol yeh kaunsi movie ka hai, 'jo jijaji kahenge, wo mai karunga 🤷‍♂️’?

SHE: Bandhan

HE: 😮 Tujhe pata hai!!

SHE: 😒 Sirf tu hi dekhta hai kya Salman ki movies

Kabi (impressed): Hmmm! 😏

HE: Mujhe tum par Garv hai!

SHE (disgusted): 😓Uhm hmm! I know what you just did!

HE: 😅

HE: I don't think bhai ko bhi zyada garv hua hoga wo movie kar k

SHE: 😄

HE: 😅

Kabi: 😄

# Anudeep & Shrads get out of the Nike showroom and start walking

# Anudeep is thinking something

 

Shrads: What happened?

Anudeep: What?

Shrads: What are you thinking?

Anudeep: Uhmm, you know how they always say 'when I was at my peak' or 'he's already peaked?'.. What do they really mean?

Shrads (bluntly): Peak. As in, when you're at your best or when you're achieving things.

Anudeep: Yeah but.. Is it, when you're working the hardest? Orr… is it, when you're earning the most?

Shrads (🤔): Hmmm

Anudeep: Cuz back then I was working harder, but now I'm earning more..

Anudeep: So what would be my peak??

Shrads: Obviously it's when you're earning more.

Anudeep: But is it though??

Anudeep: Back in 2012, 13, 14, 15 Ronaldo was banging more than 50 goals every season but he wasn't earning as much as he does at United today. Soo.. Does that mean he peaked at United?

Shrads (🤔): Uhmmm

Shrads: Well.. You can't compare it like that.. I mean, you cannn…

Anudeep: See, the reason I say tha-

Shrads (cutting him off): I think you peak when you work the hardest. 

Shrads: After that you're just reaping the benefits.

Anudeep(🤔): Hmmmm

Anudeep: I guess.. I guess that's right. 

Shrads: Cuz look at Michael Jordan. His net worth is $2 Billion right now, he fucking owns the Jordan brand name. 

Shrads: But he peaked in the 90s, with Chicago Bulls because that's when he worked the hardest. 

Shrads: He wouldn't have all of this today, had it not been for that.

— FOOD COURT —

# Anudeep and Shraddha arrive & they’ve already started eating 

Kabi: We’ve already ordered for you guys, he’ll call the number in a bit. 

SHE: Kya liya tune?

Shrads: Bas ek top liya Nike se.

HE: hmm, tune bataya nahi..

Kabi: Kya?

HE: Most talented rapper right now?

Kabi: Hmm! Ed Sheeran.

Anudeep: Ed Sheeran?

Kabi: Haan.

HE: Oh acha, I know what you’re saying.

Kabi: Fuck man I love his rap! He just goes onn, man!

HE: I think he said this in one of his interviews that he idolizes Eminem. 

Anudeep: He did? 

HE: Yeah.

Kabi: but still not a lot of people know that about him, cuz all his hits are cool romantic songs. 

HE: Have you heard ‘The Man’?

Kabi: sawal!

Kabi: I first heard it on the flight when I was going to Thailand.

Anudeep: Thailand!? What were you doing in Thailand?

Kabi: Our college was about to finish, so I needed a happy ending. 

Anudeep: Niceee! 😊

Kabi: Isko bhi bola tha maine but he was like “Lakshdweep chalte hain na! 😒”

Anudeep: 😑

HE: Haan toh Lakshdweep me kya problem hai?

Anudeep: Shiii, durr rehe mujhse

Kabi: Thailand hi jana padta hai bhai! Warna apne desh ki ladkiyan toh kuch karne hi nhi deti. 

Shrads: Tu tinder pe nahi hai kya?

Kabi: Arey nahi, wo pretentious review me kanan bolta hai na aise.

Shrads: Achaa!

Kabi: Bandiyan toh bahut forward ho gayi hai bhai. 

Shrads: Kyun nahi hona chaiye kya?

Kabi: Nahi nahi hona chaiye, bas ladko ko apna dil sambhal kar chalna padta hai ab.

HE: That's what ‘The Man' teaches you.

Kabi: 👉

# They all get done with their dinner

HE: Abhi kya karenge malum?

Kabi: Kya?

HE: Abhi piyenge chai!

SHE: Haaan 😃 Yeh achi baat kahi tune! Aise hi achi baatein kiya kar.

HE: 😁

HE: Tu piyega?

Kabi: Nahi

HE: Tu?
Shrads: Nope

HE: Tu?

Anudeep: uhh, haan.

HE: Kyunnn?? 

Anudeep: Thik hai bhai nahi pita. 

HE: Kyunnn??

Anudeep: Eh nikal lavde, chal!

HE: Shii!! Kitna gandaa baat karta hai tum? 🤧

# HE gets up as he says that

Anudeep: That’s because you like it dirty na 😏

HE: Shii, shiiii! No chai for you!

Anudeep: Aisa karega abhi mere saath 😔

HE: Ma lyfe, ma rulez!

Anudeep: Ja jaldi chai le ke aa! Bakwas kar ra hai. 

HE: 😁

— HER PLACE —

# HIM, HER and Shraddha enter inside the house and Aparna is working on her laptop 

Aparna: kuch khareeda ya bas window shopping?

SHE: Shraddha ne top liya, Nike se.

Aparna: Aur tera toh window shopping hi reheta hai hamesha

SHE: Ha. Ha. 

# SHE goes into HER room as SHE says this 

# HE goes and sits on the couch next to Aparna 

# Shraddha goes straight into the bathroom

HE: Raat ko, wo bhi weekend pe kaun kaam karta hai, yaar!?

Aparna: Motivated people

HE: 😐 Ab tu maa ki saree ghusedegi toh mai kya bolunga. 

Aparna: 😁 Nahi yaar bas kuch notes prepare kar rahi hun monday ki meeting k liye.

Aparna: I dont want to go into the meeting and be like ahhh, you know, likee, uhmm, you know I’m saying, Kinda like.. wo sab nahi karna mujhe.

HE: Then I understand.

# Shaddha yells from the washroom

Shraddha: Appu!

Aparna: Haan.

Shraddha: Tera schezwan noodles counter pe rakha hai!

Aparna: Haan mai 5-10 min me khati hun.

# HE tries to cast something on the TV from his phone

HE: Why am not able to cast anything?

# Aparna gets up and goes behind the TV to check something

# HE follows

HE: Tum log k pas chrome cast nahi hai kya?

Aparna: Arey wo purana wala hai 

HE: AirPlay?

Aparna: …Nahi

HE: FireStick?

# silence

HE: Roku?

Aparna: Ek do minute k liye chup baithega tu?

HE: 😐

# Aparna takes out the chrome cast and puts it in a different HDMI

Aparna: It'll work now.

HE: Aise kaise?

Aparna: Mera chome cast hai 😒 mere hisaab se chalega.

HE: Acha ji! Aisa hai kya?

Aparna: Haanji, aisa hai.

# They come back to the sofa

HE: 😁 Arey tune wo wo video dekha hai kya-

Aparna: Koi video nahi gaane laga.

HE: Areyy! Thik hai, merko waise bhi  🎵Pos-T, I'm a new breed 🎵 sunne ka tha.

Aparna: Kuch Pos-T Wos-T nahi, Arijit k gaane laga

HE: Ehh! Terko rone ka hai na toh room me jake ro

Aparna: 😒Aisa nahi hai wo fun gaane bhi gata hai

# Shraddha walks into the kitchen

HE: Achaa? Jaise?

Aparna: 🤔 uhmmm…..

# Silence

# Shraddha yells from the kitchen

Shraddha: Areyy Hajmola khatam ho gaya kya?

Aparna: Second shelf me hi toh hai

Shraddha: Kidhar?

# Aparna gets up and goes to the kitchen

HE (imitating): Fun gaane bhi gaata hai. 

# Aparna gets done with her work and grabs her dinner

# A while later, all the lights are off & they are all watching 'The Shining' together.

# The little boy starts repeating 'Red rum. Red rum. Red rum…'

Aparna: You know what?

HE: What?

Aparna: I think the blood that they are showing in the hallway every time, that might be red rum.

HE: Hmmmmm, haan yaar ho sakta hai.

SHE: I think you’re thinking red wine but you're saying red rum.

Aparna (realizing): Arey haan, red rum is not red.

# All of sudden the kid starts screaming 'Red rum! Red rum! Red rum!...'

# The mom grabs the kid and looks into the mirror

Shrads: Oh shit!

HE: Bhenchod!

Aparna: Fuck!!

SHE: 😰 

— X —